Some of my favorite things from this Christmas:
Watching the snow fall outside the windows of my parents' house
Sharing a candlelight service on Christmas Eve with all the family
Sitting at the puzzle table eating cookies and sharing conversation
Playing and singing Christmas songs with everyone
Listening to NB say his ABC's
Seeing the happiness on PJ5's face as he "played with" his cousins
Being with everyone
Talking to everyone
Eating Joel's seven-layer dip (yummm)
Taking pictures with PJ's new camera
Eating mom's cooking (double yum)
Playing games
I might think of more to add later...
12.30.2009
11.16.2009
Love
I had a revelation (or at least an interesting thought) yesterday morning at church. It was during the prayer time so it wasn't really related to anything said. I shared a little of it last night in the evening service.
First, the background: I have struggled (as every parent of a disabled kid does) to balance acceptance of my child's diagnosis, and pushing/working to help them move forward. They can work against each other. When you come to the point of accepting the diagnosis, it can cause a slump in your drive to change things. And conversely, when you are wholeheartedly pushing and working to move them forward in their development, it can cause feelings of discontent. You have to find the right balance, so that you stay motivated. Now, for my "Aha!" moment.
I need to love my child in the same way God loves me. (This may sound very basic, but keep reading!)
+God knows I'm not perfect.
+He loves me as I am---imperfect.
+He knows my potential, and that I haven't reached it all yet.
+He knows that someday I will be completely perfect (in heaven).
+He is making/shaping me towards that perfection (of mind, spirit, character, person).
+He doesn't change me instantly, but "processes" me.
+He disciplines me (because He loves me).
+He helps me do what is right.
+He forgives me.
+He is unendingly patient with me.
+He keeps teaching me.
+He protects me.
+Sometimes He carries me, other times He walks beside me.
+He allows me to experience the natural consequences of my decisions and actions (with a few merciful exceptions!).
+He keeps working on me, to make me what I should be.
Of course, I don't have the option of instantly changing my child. But I know that God could heal him instantly, but instead He is choosing to heal him one step at a time. Either way He gets the glory. I purposefully give praise and credit to God for every step of progress my boys make. And I know that he is changing me as well, through the process.
First, the background: I have struggled (as every parent of a disabled kid does) to balance acceptance of my child's diagnosis, and pushing/working to help them move forward. They can work against each other. When you come to the point of accepting the diagnosis, it can cause a slump in your drive to change things. And conversely, when you are wholeheartedly pushing and working to move them forward in their development, it can cause feelings of discontent. You have to find the right balance, so that you stay motivated. Now, for my "Aha!" moment.
I need to love my child in the same way God loves me. (This may sound very basic, but keep reading!)
+God knows I'm not perfect.
+He loves me as I am---imperfect.
+He knows my potential, and that I haven't reached it all yet.
+He knows that someday I will be completely perfect (in heaven).
+He is making/shaping me towards that perfection (of mind, spirit, character, person).
+He doesn't change me instantly, but "processes" me.
+He disciplines me (because He loves me).
+He helps me do what is right.
+He forgives me.
+He is unendingly patient with me.
+He keeps teaching me.
+He protects me.
+Sometimes He carries me, other times He walks beside me.
+He allows me to experience the natural consequences of my decisions and actions (with a few merciful exceptions!).
+He keeps working on me, to make me what I should be.
Of course, I don't have the option of instantly changing my child. But I know that God could heal him instantly, but instead He is choosing to heal him one step at a time. Either way He gets the glory. I purposefully give praise and credit to God for every step of progress my boys make. And I know that he is changing me as well, through the process.
11.12.2009
Rambling
I decided to blog today because I actually have time. But I'm not sure what to say.
Things are going pretty smooth right now. We still have occasional bad days, like yesterday when PJ5 decided that screaming was his preferred mode of communication/expression. Our schedule is still pretty busy, especially the weekends. My hubby has been wanting to go hiking ever since he finished his test, but there's always been something going on each Saturday since then. I told him he better take a weekday off and go. (Sometime soon before it gets really cold)
I've been neglecting this blog, not really having much to say and choosing instead to get on FB. I think it's the interaction that draws me there. I can see what other people are saying, and they respond to me in their own time. Alright, alright, I also like "farmville". It's the only game I play on Facebook. What can I say? I always liked farms and ranches, but never had the opportunity to live on one. I'm not sure what this says about me, but I listed on paper all the crops I could plant and figured out which ones were the most profitable, even figuring in the time it takes for each to grow. Really, I did. I also like the fact that I only have to spend a few minutes each day on it to keep it going.
I recently attended the FIRST Statewide Autism Conference in Oklahoma. I came away feeling encouraged, empowered, and equipped. I had a few "Aha!" moments, gaining some insight and ideas on things like nutrition, sleeping, teaching communication, etc. They had concurrent sessions going on, and I wished I could clone myself. I was happy with all my session choices except one--something about parents coping with stress. I sat there and wished I could twitter on my phone:"you've got to be kidding". It was like a college lecture that explained what a healthy family should look like, but not really telling you how to get there. I guess I'll have to learn "stress-coping" somewhere else. I was pleasantly surprised to realize how many people were at the conference that I knew by face, if not by name. Excited, too, because I'm not outgoing by nature, and don't make a lot of friends easily. It made me aware that I am doing well at networking and accessing the "helps" available in our community.
On the homefront, we have a new member of our household. Well....on probation, I guess. We have a 6-month black female cat on a 2-week foster basis to see if she works out okay. She's inside only, and I have to watch because PJ5 likes to open the front door and look outside. He knows he's not supposed to go out without someone, but I don't want the cat to escape. (Of course, NB also likes to escape and then PJ5 will go out too, thinking he's someone.) The kitty seems to be adjusting okay. PJ5 likes to look at her and pet her, and says "meow" when he sees her. She always wants to be in whatever room I'm in, and follows PJ around in the mornings. My only concern is that she is still enough of a kitten that she loves to play, and at bedtime attacks our feet if they are moving under the covers (i don't let her in the boys rooms at night). I'm trying to train her not to play with human hands that are petting her, and so far she hasn't tried to scratch/attack the boys. One more week and we will have to decide if we are keeping her.
That's all folks. I'm running out of time. To the few friends and family members who actually read my blog that's my update. :)
Things are going pretty smooth right now. We still have occasional bad days, like yesterday when PJ5 decided that screaming was his preferred mode of communication/expression. Our schedule is still pretty busy, especially the weekends. My hubby has been wanting to go hiking ever since he finished his test, but there's always been something going on each Saturday since then. I told him he better take a weekday off and go. (Sometime soon before it gets really cold)
I've been neglecting this blog, not really having much to say and choosing instead to get on FB. I think it's the interaction that draws me there. I can see what other people are saying, and they respond to me in their own time. Alright, alright, I also like "farmville". It's the only game I play on Facebook. What can I say? I always liked farms and ranches, but never had the opportunity to live on one. I'm not sure what this says about me, but I listed on paper all the crops I could plant and figured out which ones were the most profitable, even figuring in the time it takes for each to grow. Really, I did. I also like the fact that I only have to spend a few minutes each day on it to keep it going.
I recently attended the FIRST Statewide Autism Conference in Oklahoma. I came away feeling encouraged, empowered, and equipped. I had a few "Aha!" moments, gaining some insight and ideas on things like nutrition, sleeping, teaching communication, etc. They had concurrent sessions going on, and I wished I could clone myself. I was happy with all my session choices except one--something about parents coping with stress. I sat there and wished I could twitter on my phone:"you've got to be kidding". It was like a college lecture that explained what a healthy family should look like, but not really telling you how to get there. I guess I'll have to learn "stress-coping" somewhere else. I was pleasantly surprised to realize how many people were at the conference that I knew by face, if not by name. Excited, too, because I'm not outgoing by nature, and don't make a lot of friends easily. It made me aware that I am doing well at networking and accessing the "helps" available in our community.
On the homefront, we have a new member of our household. Well....on probation, I guess. We have a 6-month black female cat on a 2-week foster basis to see if she works out okay. She's inside only, and I have to watch because PJ5 likes to open the front door and look outside. He knows he's not supposed to go out without someone, but I don't want the cat to escape. (Of course, NB also likes to escape and then PJ5 will go out too, thinking he's someone.) The kitty seems to be adjusting okay. PJ5 likes to look at her and pet her, and says "meow" when he sees her. She always wants to be in whatever room I'm in, and follows PJ around in the mornings. My only concern is that she is still enough of a kitten that she loves to play, and at bedtime attacks our feet if they are moving under the covers (i don't let her in the boys rooms at night). I'm trying to train her not to play with human hands that are petting her, and so far she hasn't tried to scratch/attack the boys. One more week and we will have to decide if we are keeping her.
That's all folks. I'm running out of time. To the few friends and family members who actually read my blog that's my update. :)
10.14.2009
Order, where are you?
I'm in a weird funk today. It has been raining for I don't know how many days. It makes me sleepy. I'm in a fog, literally and figuratively. We bought the boys a trampoline a few weeks ago, and they haven't been able to play on it for several days now because of the rain. Thursday and Friday are Fall Break so the boys will be home all day. Hopefully the forecast is correct and it will be dry those days!
Sometimes there are so many things to do that I don't know where to start. I guess it's time to make a list.
That reminds me, we took an interesting personality test at our weekend marriage retreat. It divides people into six colors. I am primarily green, with some blue, yellow and purple thrown in. (sounds like a spectacular bruise). PJ is yellow, with some blue, green and purple. It's the blue people that like order and like to make lists. Green people like harmony and are accepting of others. Yellow people like doing for others and being around people. Purple people (eaters--wait, no) like to get things done and tend to define themselves by what they accomplish. And just to round out the color wheel.....Red likes to take charge and is competitive; and Orange likes to be the center of attention and loves taking risks.
It really was interesting and helps to identify areas of strength and weakness. A lot of couples are on opposite sides of the wheel, but not always.
Sometimes there are so many things to do that I don't know where to start. I guess it's time to make a list.
That reminds me, we took an interesting personality test at our weekend marriage retreat. It divides people into six colors. I am primarily green, with some blue, yellow and purple thrown in. (sounds like a spectacular bruise). PJ is yellow, with some blue, green and purple. It's the blue people that like order and like to make lists. Green people like harmony and are accepting of others. Yellow people like doing for others and being around people. Purple people (eaters--wait, no) like to get things done and tend to define themselves by what they accomplish. And just to round out the color wheel.....Red likes to take charge and is competitive; and Orange likes to be the center of attention and loves taking risks.
It really was interesting and helps to identify areas of strength and weakness. A lot of couples are on opposite sides of the wheel, but not always.
9.09.2009
True story
Someone was pounding at the door...hard. I was still in my nightgown, but I peeked out the window to see who it was. It was a group of teenagers....Nuts! they saw me. They pounded harder on the door.
I barely opened the door; just enough to speak to them. They demanded that I let them in, brandishing guns. I told them no and slammed the door. They yelled that I had left my key in the door and I couldn't keep them out.
I stayed calm. They were probably bluffing, but I had left my keys in the lock before... All the same, I didn't panic but decided to call 9-1-1. Hopefully I could find the phone quickly. There. I had it. Dial the number... What?! I didn't know you could get an answering machine when you called emergency!
Alright, now I was scared. I decided to get PJ's gun that is for "defending the house". I reached in the place where he hides it....It's not there! It's not there!!!
I woke up. My heart was pounding and my breath was coming in short little gasps. I rolled over and woke up PJ.
"Where's the gun?"
"What?" he asked, not fully awake.
"Is the gun in the ______?" I insisted.
"No, I moved it to the _______" he answered. !!!!!!!!
I barely opened the door; just enough to speak to them. They demanded that I let them in, brandishing guns. I told them no and slammed the door. They yelled that I had left my key in the door and I couldn't keep them out.
I stayed calm. They were probably bluffing, but I had left my keys in the lock before... All the same, I didn't panic but decided to call 9-1-1. Hopefully I could find the phone quickly. There. I had it. Dial the number... What?! I didn't know you could get an answering machine when you called emergency!
Alright, now I was scared. I decided to get PJ's gun that is for "defending the house". I reached in the place where he hides it....It's not there! It's not there!!!
I woke up. My heart was pounding and my breath was coming in short little gasps. I rolled over and woke up PJ.
"Where's the gun?"
"What?" he asked, not fully awake.
"Is the gun in the ______?" I insisted.
"No, I moved it to the _______" he answered. !!!!!!!!
How much longer?
http://www.nationalautismassociation.org/howmuchlonger.php
How much longer will "officials" ignore the positive results of biomedical treatment for autism, and ignore the cry of parents to slow down the vaccination schedule?
A very good question.
How much longer will "officials" ignore the positive results of biomedical treatment for autism, and ignore the cry of parents to slow down the vaccination schedule?
A very good question.
8.29.2009
Neat place
Last week, on our date (not 2 days ago but 9 days ago) I took my husband to this new shop I found in the mall recently. I really like it. (and they aren't paying me to say this) It's called Teavana (spelling?).
Alright, no more parentheses, please.
They sell loose-leaf teas, of all kinds: black, green, white, red, herbal, etc. They also sell all the paraphernalia to make said tea---teapots of glass, china, cast iron, earthenware; teacups; teawarmers; individual-cup-teamakers; kettles for boiling water; decorative tins for storing teas, etc., etc. But my favorite thing about the store is that they have 6 to 7 teas already brewed that you can sample! Most of them are hot, but there are one or two iced teas. I love trying teas I've never had before. I also like that they mark how much caffeine is in each tea, in comparison to a cup of coffee, since I can't drink too much caffeine.
I checked and there is a website here. Or you can go to Penn Square, and they are downstairs in the central part of the mall.
From the questions my husband asked, I think I might be getting something as a gift from there soon!
Alright, no more parentheses, please.
They sell loose-leaf teas, of all kinds: black, green, white, red, herbal, etc. They also sell all the paraphernalia to make said tea---teapots of glass, china, cast iron, earthenware; teacups; teawarmers; individual-cup-teamakers; kettles for boiling water; decorative tins for storing teas, etc., etc. But my favorite thing about the store is that they have 6 to 7 teas already brewed that you can sample! Most of them are hot, but there are one or two iced teas. I love trying teas I've never had before. I also like that they mark how much caffeine is in each tea, in comparison to a cup of coffee, since I can't drink too much caffeine.
I checked and there is a website here. Or you can go to Penn Square, and they are downstairs in the central part of the mall.
From the questions my husband asked, I think I might be getting something as a gift from there soon!
8.19.2009
As promised
Our campsite, complete with trucks 
and of course, dirt
PJ5 made lots of roads and dirt piles
This is how much space a squirrel needs to get into a van
Is it morning already?
Not quite awake
NB's favorite at the museum
Another favorite for both of them
I just had to put this in!
Vacation
Camping:
Before kids, my primary concerns when camping were: dirt and critters, and how to keep them out of my tent, my food, etc. With kids, I hardly paid attention to the dirt; and obviously didn't give much thought to the critters, since a squirrel got into the van and ate some of our food the first night (we forgot that we had cracked the windows open early in the evening).
We all had fun. The boys loved being outside almost all day. We enjoyed playing in the water, although NB did NOT like the cold spring water if it was more than waist-deep. He had no inhibitions at the lake, however, and kept trying to go out towards the deeper water. When we'd had our fill of water-fun and the heat was bad we just drove around and let NB take his nap. PJ5 had an inflated tube and acted like he could go anywhere in it.
On this trip my primary concerns were:
1) Keeping the boys from straying too far from the campsite (there really aren't any clear boundaries, you know, and NB was just sure he could get to the lake if he ran fast and far enough) and 2) Getting everyone to sleep...well, actually just the little boys---my wonderful husband fell asleep soon after I started singing softly to the kids. PJ5 was a little upset because everything was so different than sleeping at home. And NB thought the tent was a play-place and rolled somersaults all over the place, including over the rest of us!!
We did have fun, though, and will do it again another time, but we may get a bigger tent and bring the port-a-crib for NB.
Omniplex museum:
It was nice to do some indoor play, and the boys enjoyed running around getting to touch everything. Some things were above their heads (figuratively and literally speaking) but they didn't care. They did tend to fixate on the activities they enjoyed the most: e.g., the hands-on train set, the climbing/sliding area, the lego-building area, the display of ping pong balls rolling and dropping through a "course"(i dont know what to call it), etc. There was a water table I thought they might enjoy but I changed my mind after NB swung his leg up and put his shoe-and-sock-clad-foot into the water, preparatory to climbing in!
Sadly, we didn't all troop through together like I pictured, so PJ5 was followed by his daddy, and I ran around after NB. Neither of us got to see everything, and we each visited at least one area that the other didn't. PJ5 spent several minutes watching the model train display and loved it! Unfortunately, I had the camera instead of PJ, so we didn't get any pictures of him. He also liked the erosion dislplay where you could arrange the logs(sticks) to keep the water from washing away the soil(gravel). I got dizzy after going down the tall, corkscrew slide with NB 5 times. I made him go by himself after that and he only went once more. He also enjoyed the wind tunnel where you get to experience 70 mph wind (or so it says).
I have some pictures which I will post when I have more time.
Before kids, my primary concerns when camping were: dirt and critters, and how to keep them out of my tent, my food, etc. With kids, I hardly paid attention to the dirt; and obviously didn't give much thought to the critters, since a squirrel got into the van and ate some of our food the first night (we forgot that we had cracked the windows open early in the evening).
We all had fun. The boys loved being outside almost all day. We enjoyed playing in the water, although NB did NOT like the cold spring water if it was more than waist-deep. He had no inhibitions at the lake, however, and kept trying to go out towards the deeper water. When we'd had our fill of water-fun and the heat was bad we just drove around and let NB take his nap. PJ5 had an inflated tube and acted like he could go anywhere in it.
On this trip my primary concerns were:
1) Keeping the boys from straying too far from the campsite (there really aren't any clear boundaries, you know, and NB was just sure he could get to the lake if he ran fast and far enough) and 2) Getting everyone to sleep...well, actually just the little boys---my wonderful husband fell asleep soon after I started singing softly to the kids. PJ5 was a little upset because everything was so different than sleeping at home. And NB thought the tent was a play-place and rolled somersaults all over the place, including over the rest of us!!
We did have fun, though, and will do it again another time, but we may get a bigger tent and bring the port-a-crib for NB.
Omniplex museum:
It was nice to do some indoor play, and the boys enjoyed running around getting to touch everything. Some things were above their heads (figuratively and literally speaking) but they didn't care. They did tend to fixate on the activities they enjoyed the most: e.g., the hands-on train set, the climbing/sliding area, the lego-building area, the display of ping pong balls rolling and dropping through a "course"(i dont know what to call it), etc. There was a water table I thought they might enjoy but I changed my mind after NB swung his leg up and put his shoe-and-sock-clad-foot into the water, preparatory to climbing in!
Sadly, we didn't all troop through together like I pictured, so PJ5 was followed by his daddy, and I ran around after NB. Neither of us got to see everything, and we each visited at least one area that the other didn't. PJ5 spent several minutes watching the model train display and loved it! Unfortunately, I had the camera instead of PJ, so we didn't get any pictures of him. He also liked the erosion dislplay where you could arrange the logs(sticks) to keep the water from washing away the soil(gravel). I got dizzy after going down the tall, corkscrew slide with NB 5 times. I made him go by himself after that and he only went once more. He also enjoyed the wind tunnel where you get to experience 70 mph wind (or so it says).
I have some pictures which I will post when I have more time.
8.09.2009
Thoughts and decisions
All quiet on the home front. Well, maybe not quiet....but there's nothing earth-shaking going on around here right now. We recently finished VBS. PJ5 starts school in less than two weeks. NB will start school in another month, approx. And we are going to take a family mini-vacation soon. (not sure exactly what we will do, but hubby took a few days off to do some fun stuff before school starts)
I'm here because I have to get these thoughts out "on the air"....
I am seriously considering taking up a new responsibility. One that no one else is doing right now. I don't want to be specific...
I know some of you will say I have a lot on my plate already, but this is a small, yet important thing. It's not like a full-time job or even a part-time job....
It's just that I have had all these ideas running through my head of things to do and how to do them, etc. And I have had a burden on my heart for this for several months. I have kept pushing them aside, but they keep coming back....
Right now I am earnestly praying that God will show me if this is His leading, or just my own ideas. I know that if it is His leading that He will provide the strength, time, and wisdom to do it. If not, well, there are other places I can put my time and energy....
Please pray with me.
And if you want to ask me what it is I might tell you.
I'm here because I have to get these thoughts out "on the air"....
I am seriously considering taking up a new responsibility. One that no one else is doing right now. I don't want to be specific...
I know some of you will say I have a lot on my plate already, but this is a small, yet important thing. It's not like a full-time job or even a part-time job....
It's just that I have had all these ideas running through my head of things to do and how to do them, etc. And I have had a burden on my heart for this for several months. I have kept pushing them aside, but they keep coming back....
Right now I am earnestly praying that God will show me if this is His leading, or just my own ideas. I know that if it is His leading that He will provide the strength, time, and wisdom to do it. If not, well, there are other places I can put my time and energy....
Please pray with me.
And if you want to ask me what it is I might tell you.
7.27.2009
Never again
That was the worst Wal-mart experience I've ever had. And I don't plan to repeat it.
Here's the background:
I confessed to my husband recently that I never go to W-M with PJ5 unless I'm planning to get chicken nuggets from McD's as we go in (otherwise he'll get upset). Therefore I plan my trips to W-M around meal-times or times when I can go without PJ5. He thought that wasn't very good training for PJ5 and made it harder on me, so I told him I would go and NOT get chicken only if he were with us to help. We did this a couple of times and things were okay. I even recently went to a W-M that did not have a McD's and PJ5 was upset for about two minutes, but then he was okay for the rest of the trip.
So, this morning I had a long list of groceries and other various items I needed. Because of today's schedule it worked best to go in the morning. McD's does not serve chicken and french fries in the morning, but I went ahead thinking it would be okay.
Or not.
As we walked past McD's without stopping, he began to cry very loudly. I kept going til we were at the back of the store, then I talked to him and told him we would get chicken after we finished our shopping (that really was my plan). He calmed down but it was brief, because as soon as we left the aisle we were in and went in the opposite direction of McD's he began to cry again. He proceeded to cry loudly through the whole shopping trip. Did I mention I had a long list? And the items were in all parts of the store. I'm sure people could track our progress just by listening.
But that wasn't the worst of it.
I can ignore his fussing and crying. I am practiced at it. Of course I periodically tried to calm him down or distract him, but he was too worked up. I was determined to finish my shopping so I just tried to be quick.
No, it was the stares. I have never been stared at so much. Every aisle we passed, as I looked down the aisle to see if I needed to go down it, everyone was staring back at us. Men, women, and children. One old man tried to say hi to him, then when he didn't respond smiled and said "he's not very happy, is he?" At first, I just smiled at everyone and kept going, but no one was smiling back at me. I wanted to yell out "He has autism!". Some stared at me, some stared at him. For some of them, their thoughts were written plainly on their faces.
"Who IS that??"
"I wish that kid would shut up."
"Why doesn't she DO something?"
"ugh, there they are again, why don't they just leave already."
"That child is too big to be acting like such a baby."
After a while, I was no longer smiling. After a while, I was crying. I kept trying to smile but no one ever smiled back. They just stared. My eyes were dry by the time I made it to the check-out, but they still stared because he still howled.
The cashier kindly and sympathetically asked "Is he tired?" I was finally able to explain to someone that he had autism and he just didn't understand that you can't get chicken nuggets in the morning, and that it was really hard for him to calm down. She said "Ohh" and smiled and was nice.
We did not stop at McD's on the way out because I couldn't stand to be in that building any longer. By the time we got everything in the van and started moving, PJ5 was fine---even happy. We drove through somewhere else and got lunch.
It's back to planning my W-M trips around mealtimes. Never again will I take PJ5 without planning to get chicken on the way in. It's just so much easier that way.
Note: all that time NB was quiet and good, other than his normal 2-3 attempts to stand in his seat.
Here's the background:
I confessed to my husband recently that I never go to W-M with PJ5 unless I'm planning to get chicken nuggets from McD's as we go in (otherwise he'll get upset). Therefore I plan my trips to W-M around meal-times or times when I can go without PJ5. He thought that wasn't very good training for PJ5 and made it harder on me, so I told him I would go and NOT get chicken only if he were with us to help. We did this a couple of times and things were okay. I even recently went to a W-M that did not have a McD's and PJ5 was upset for about two minutes, but then he was okay for the rest of the trip.
So, this morning I had a long list of groceries and other various items I needed. Because of today's schedule it worked best to go in the morning. McD's does not serve chicken and french fries in the morning, but I went ahead thinking it would be okay.
Or not.
As we walked past McD's without stopping, he began to cry very loudly. I kept going til we were at the back of the store, then I talked to him and told him we would get chicken after we finished our shopping (that really was my plan). He calmed down but it was brief, because as soon as we left the aisle we were in and went in the opposite direction of McD's he began to cry again. He proceeded to cry loudly through the whole shopping trip. Did I mention I had a long list? And the items were in all parts of the store. I'm sure people could track our progress just by listening.
But that wasn't the worst of it.
I can ignore his fussing and crying. I am practiced at it. Of course I periodically tried to calm him down or distract him, but he was too worked up. I was determined to finish my shopping so I just tried to be quick.
No, it was the stares. I have never been stared at so much. Every aisle we passed, as I looked down the aisle to see if I needed to go down it, everyone was staring back at us. Men, women, and children. One old man tried to say hi to him, then when he didn't respond smiled and said "he's not very happy, is he?" At first, I just smiled at everyone and kept going, but no one was smiling back at me. I wanted to yell out "He has autism!". Some stared at me, some stared at him. For some of them, their thoughts were written plainly on their faces.
"Who IS that??"
"I wish that kid would shut up."
"Why doesn't she DO something?"
"ugh, there they are again, why don't they just leave already."
"That child is too big to be acting like such a baby."
After a while, I was no longer smiling. After a while, I was crying. I kept trying to smile but no one ever smiled back. They just stared. My eyes were dry by the time I made it to the check-out, but they still stared because he still howled.
The cashier kindly and sympathetically asked "Is he tired?" I was finally able to explain to someone that he had autism and he just didn't understand that you can't get chicken nuggets in the morning, and that it was really hard for him to calm down. She said "Ohh" and smiled and was nice.
We did not stop at McD's on the way out because I couldn't stand to be in that building any longer. By the time we got everything in the van and started moving, PJ5 was fine---even happy. We drove through somewhere else and got lunch.
It's back to planning my W-M trips around mealtimes. Never again will I take PJ5 without planning to get chicken on the way in. It's just so much easier that way.
Note: all that time NB was quiet and good, other than his normal 2-3 attempts to stand in his seat.
7.15.2009
Summer
I haven't posted any pictures on here for quite awhile, so I thought I'd show what's going on around here this summer....
This photo shows why PJ can't do any studying at home, therefore goes to the library several times a week.
Here we have a few photos of the boys' favorite pastime in this summer heat wave:
And I found this a few weeks ago after I had put the boys to bed. I know NB was the culprit, because I have stopped him while he was happily unrolling. I guess this time no one caught him and he tried to put things back in their place.
This photo shows why PJ can't do any studying at home, therefore goes to the library several times a week.
Here we have a few photos of the boys' favorite pastime in this summer heat wave:
And I found this a few weeks ago after I had put the boys to bed. I know NB was the culprit, because I have stopped him while he was happily unrolling. I guess this time no one caught him and he tried to put things back in their place.
6.30.2009
Joke
I guess I should become reconciled to posting on here once a week or less, but I keep thinking I'll do it more often eventually.
Anyhow, here is our big joke of the day.
First, I should explain that PJ has been home yesterday and today with strep throat. Yesterday sometime (or perhaps it was Sunday night) I adjusted the thermostat up to 78 since the cold front came through, and it seemed the AC was keeping it nice and cool. (By the way I feel ridiculous calling it a cold front when we still have highs in the nineties.) Then this morning as it approached noon, I thought it's getting warm in here--I better turn the dial back down to 75 so it will stay cool. And so I did. But a couple hours later it still felt warm. I climbed on a table and put my hand up to the vent and the air felt tepid. I thought "oh great--gonna have to call the AC guys--and it'll take forever to get one because it's so hot now" I decided to give it a little more time and see what happened. We all went to the store for awhile and as we left the store we could see a few rainclouds (not big) and the air felt a little cooler. But upon our return, I discovered that the air outside was now cooler than the air inside the house. I told PJ that we would have to call someone. I went to the thermostat to look at it again and then I saw it......
The "heat/off/cool" switch was on HEAT!
I switched it to "cool" and within 30 minutes the air coming out of the vents was definitely cold air. Of course, I exclaimed aloud and we both started laughing. He came over to look and pointed out to me a small step stool directly underneath the thermostat. I have never seen either of the boys reach for or even look with interest at the little box on the wall, but kids can be curious. However, I am not going to accuse.
I just looked out to the back yard where PJ took PJ5 to play. They have the kiddie pool full of water (which I suggested doing earlier when it was hot inside and out), and there is a nice breeze blowing and some more raincluds coming in from the west......*sigh*
Anyhow, here is our big joke of the day.
First, I should explain that PJ has been home yesterday and today with strep throat. Yesterday sometime (or perhaps it was Sunday night) I adjusted the thermostat up to 78 since the cold front came through, and it seemed the AC was keeping it nice and cool. (By the way I feel ridiculous calling it a cold front when we still have highs in the nineties.) Then this morning as it approached noon, I thought it's getting warm in here--I better turn the dial back down to 75 so it will stay cool. And so I did. But a couple hours later it still felt warm. I climbed on a table and put my hand up to the vent and the air felt tepid. I thought "oh great--gonna have to call the AC guys--and it'll take forever to get one because it's so hot now" I decided to give it a little more time and see what happened. We all went to the store for awhile and as we left the store we could see a few rainclouds (not big) and the air felt a little cooler. But upon our return, I discovered that the air outside was now cooler than the air inside the house. I told PJ that we would have to call someone. I went to the thermostat to look at it again and then I saw it......
The "heat/off/cool" switch was on HEAT!
I switched it to "cool" and within 30 minutes the air coming out of the vents was definitely cold air. Of course, I exclaimed aloud and we both started laughing. He came over to look and pointed out to me a small step stool directly underneath the thermostat. I have never seen either of the boys reach for or even look with interest at the little box on the wall, but kids can be curious. However, I am not going to accuse.
I just looked out to the back yard where PJ took PJ5 to play. They have the kiddie pool full of water (which I suggested doing earlier when it was hot inside and out), and there is a nice breeze blowing and some more raincluds coming in from the west......*sigh*
6.08.2009
I'm ba-ack.
I think it's very ironic that during my whole "week without kids" I didn't blog once, but now that life is back into full swing I'm at the computer, blogging and facebooking. I'm not sure what that says about why I do these things.....
I was so glad for the break (thanks, Laura) but also glad to see my boys again.
I must say, however, that I definitely kept busy during that week. Two-and-a-half days of just me and the hubby, two days of organizing and cleaning at home, and two days of training at the Summer Autism Symposium. Computer time just wasn't on top of my priority list. Additionally, I was doing last minute prep for the Autism Walk. We had 29 people walking (or riding in strollers) on our team! Thanks everyone!! It's good to be reminded that there are lots of people supporting us as we navigate this road.
The Symposium is going well so far. I really got a lot of good information in the two days of training last week. It kind of fired me up, or re-energized me, to keep trying and keep working with the boys. Today was the first day of the kids' classes. Just to prove that I wasn't anxious at all....I did not sleep well last night and kept dreaming that I was running late and rewriting my schedule and being told that my kids were farther behind than anyone else's. In the parents group today we were asked if we were nervous, and reassured that the teachers working with our kids could handle them just fine. I wasn't worried about that!!---I had met and heard speeches from their teachers and knew they were competent and capable. I worried more that they were going to tell me that I had done all the wrong things and that my children were so far behind where they should/could have been! I know, silly. But emotions don't always make sense. I was also stressed about the schedule because NB is in the morning class and PJ5 in the afternoon class so I had to shuttle back and forth between locations (taking the one not in class to my nieces for babysitting). But all went well. There was plenty of time and the teachers told me that the boys did well. I think my biggest challenge is simply going to be getting the boys out of bed and out the door that early in the morning. They're not used to leaving the house at 8 AM!
After reading over what I just wrote, I think maybe I'm back because I need the outlet. what do you think?
Oh, and I'll try to post some pics from the Walk soon.
I was so glad for the break (thanks, Laura) but also glad to see my boys again.
I must say, however, that I definitely kept busy during that week. Two-and-a-half days of just me and the hubby, two days of organizing and cleaning at home, and two days of training at the Summer Autism Symposium. Computer time just wasn't on top of my priority list. Additionally, I was doing last minute prep for the Autism Walk. We had 29 people walking (or riding in strollers) on our team! Thanks everyone!! It's good to be reminded that there are lots of people supporting us as we navigate this road.
The Symposium is going well so far. I really got a lot of good information in the two days of training last week. It kind of fired me up, or re-energized me, to keep trying and keep working with the boys. Today was the first day of the kids' classes. Just to prove that I wasn't anxious at all....I did not sleep well last night and kept dreaming that I was running late and rewriting my schedule and being told that my kids were farther behind than anyone else's. In the parents group today we were asked if we were nervous, and reassured that the teachers working with our kids could handle them just fine. I wasn't worried about that!!---I had met and heard speeches from their teachers and knew they were competent and capable. I worried more that they were going to tell me that I had done all the wrong things and that my children were so far behind where they should/could have been! I know, silly. But emotions don't always make sense. I was also stressed about the schedule because NB is in the morning class and PJ5 in the afternoon class so I had to shuttle back and forth between locations (taking the one not in class to my nieces for babysitting). But all went well. There was plenty of time and the teachers told me that the boys did well. I think my biggest challenge is simply going to be getting the boys out of bed and out the door that early in the morning. They're not used to leaving the house at 8 AM!
After reading over what I just wrote, I think maybe I'm back because I need the outlet. what do you think?
Oh, and I'll try to post some pics from the Walk soon.
5.13.2009
"accidents"
Seriously, NB just tried to say that word!
(They are watching Elmo's Potty Time video)
I cannot believe all the things that are coming out of his mouth....yes, no, outside, slide, applesauce, Cerys, the "letter sounds" of a,b,c,d,h,j,k,l,s,t,w,x, and z....
And PJ5's latest new songs he likes to sing are:
I am Bound for the Promised Land
Behold, Behold, I Stand at the Door and Knock
Deep and Wide
Everybody Ought to Know
Do Lord
and many others
(They are watching Elmo's Potty Time video)
I cannot believe all the things that are coming out of his mouth....yes, no, outside, slide, applesauce, Cerys, the "letter sounds" of a,b,c,d,h,j,k,l,s,t,w,x, and z....
And PJ5's latest new songs he likes to sing are:
I am Bound for the Promised Land
Behold, Behold, I Stand at the Door and Knock
Deep and Wide
Everybody Ought to Know
Do Lord
and many others
5.11.2009
Not Me Monday
Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
This week...
I did not get teary-eyed when I heard my 2-year-old saying the letter sounds along with the "letter factory" video. (At first, I thought it was my 5-year-old)
I was not told by my doctor to gain some weight, and eat snacks loaded with calories and protein.
I did not get a bull's eye on my first two tries with my husband's .357 handgun when we went target shooting. I also did not go target shooting on a date with my husband, and it was not the first time we have done this in almost 8 years of marriage. (And he did not brag to a few people the next day about his wife!)
I did not plan my Wal-mart trips around whether I wanted to let PJ5 have chicken nuggets, because it's easier to give in than to push a cart through the store with a hollering 5-year-old.
I did not stay up until 2 AM Sunday morning reading a book that I have read at least 20 times. And the title of the book did not begin with "Anne".
I was not tempted to throw the phone out the window when it interrupted my very, very short nap this afternoon.
And I am not double-scheduling myself for things I want to do in the next month. I would never do that.
This week...
I did not get teary-eyed when I heard my 2-year-old saying the letter sounds along with the "letter factory" video. (At first, I thought it was my 5-year-old)
I was not told by my doctor to gain some weight, and eat snacks loaded with calories and protein.
I did not get a bull's eye on my first two tries with my husband's .357 handgun when we went target shooting. I also did not go target shooting on a date with my husband, and it was not the first time we have done this in almost 8 years of marriage. (And he did not brag to a few people the next day about his wife!)
I did not plan my Wal-mart trips around whether I wanted to let PJ5 have chicken nuggets, because it's easier to give in than to push a cart through the store with a hollering 5-year-old.
I did not get snippy with my husband over the phone when I realized that after him being gone for 9 hours on Saturday, I was still going to be husband-less for another 2 hours, and consequently have to bathe and put to bed the boys by myself. And I did not almost immediately regret my shrewish-ness and remember to be thankful that I have a husband that actually comes home every night.
I did not stay up until 2 AM Sunday morning reading a book that I have read at least 20 times. And the title of the book did not begin with "Anne".
I was not tempted to throw the phone out the window when it interrupted my very, very short nap this afternoon.
And I am not double-scheduling myself for things I want to do in the next month. I would never do that.
4.24.2009
Steps
Last evening the boys were playing outside and NB did something totally new!
He has recently started playing with the little basketball goal we have out there, although it is too tall for him. So I was picking him up and holding him just within arm's reach of the goal, telling him to "put it in", "put the ball in" so he would do it, and I would cheer (and repeatprocess several times). Last evening as we were doing this, NB was jabbering as I held him, waiting for him to put the ball in the basket. It seemed very deliberate so I said "ball" very clearly and he watched my mouth and I said it a couple more times and he said "ba-ba" !!!! I praised him and he put it in and I ran in the house to tell PJ (who was taking it easy at the time). We both came back out and I got NB back in the game again and said "ball" every time and he said "baa" at least two more times. And once, after he picked the ball back up, and as he lifted his arms to be raised up again he said "baa", which is pretty much requesting, something he has never done before! So he was labelling and requesting!
PJ also told me later that NB signed "more" when he was giving the boys some chicken for supper (I was at the store). He was giving PJ5 a piece and NB was watching him, then he looked down at his hands and put them together in the sign for "more". PJ said "do you want more?" and got another piece for him. But he told me "it was almost like he(NB) was talking to himself, because he didn't look at me but down at his hands."
I haven't said much here about PJ5, but he is making a lot of progress at school. His progress tends to fluctuate, and he is on a big upswing right now. Our IEP meeting went well and was very encouraging. I'll probably share more about it later.
He has recently started playing with the little basketball goal we have out there, although it is too tall for him. So I was picking him up and holding him just within arm's reach of the goal, telling him to "put it in", "put the ball in" so he would do it, and I would cheer (and repeatprocess several times). Last evening as we were doing this, NB was jabbering as I held him, waiting for him to put the ball in the basket. It seemed very deliberate so I said "ball" very clearly and he watched my mouth and I said it a couple more times and he said "ba-ba" !!!! I praised him and he put it in and I ran in the house to tell PJ (who was taking it easy at the time). We both came back out and I got NB back in the game again and said "ball" every time and he said "baa" at least two more times. And once, after he picked the ball back up, and as he lifted his arms to be raised up again he said "baa", which is pretty much requesting, something he has never done before! So he was labelling and requesting!
PJ also told me later that NB signed "more" when he was giving the boys some chicken for supper (I was at the store). He was giving PJ5 a piece and NB was watching him, then he looked down at his hands and put them together in the sign for "more". PJ said "do you want more?" and got another piece for him. But he told me "it was almost like he(NB) was talking to himself, because he didn't look at me but down at his hands."
I haven't said much here about PJ5, but he is making a lot of progress at school. His progress tends to fluctuate, and he is on a big upswing right now. Our IEP meeting went well and was very encouraging. I'll probably share more about it later.
4.21.2009
The last straw
well...it feels like it anyway
I woke up with a sore throat and general achiness. I didn't take NB to MDO because a half-hour before I should take him he had a low fever(99.2) . He was fever-free yesterday and when he woke up this morning, so that was a bummer--and the fever was gone about an hour later! After this I had a high fever and couldn't find any ibuprofen in the house, except Children's. So after laying down a while we all went to the store for some essential items, namely medicine and juice and Sprite. The fresh air revived me a little, but by the time we checked out I was achy again and my purse strap felt like a knife buried in my shoulder. Back home with some lunch for the boys now. PJ5 will be going to school soon, then I will put NB in his crib and lay myself down too.
(I do have a babysitter for my meeting tomorrow, thanks for the offers; and it's too important to cancel. I just hope my head is clear.)
My main concern is that my husband NOT get this cold right before his test...That would be the last straw!
Pardon my doom and gloom. It's hard to be cheerful and upbeat when you feel like......well....you know...
I woke up with a sore throat and general achiness. I didn't take NB to MDO because a half-hour before I should take him he had a low fever(99.2) . He was fever-free yesterday and when he woke up this morning, so that was a bummer--and the fever was gone about an hour later! After this I had a high fever and couldn't find any ibuprofen in the house, except Children's. So after laying down a while we all went to the store for some essential items, namely medicine and juice and Sprite. The fresh air revived me a little, but by the time we checked out I was achy again and my purse strap felt like a knife buried in my shoulder. Back home with some lunch for the boys now. PJ5 will be going to school soon, then I will put NB in his crib and lay myself down too.
(I do have a babysitter for my meeting tomorrow, thanks for the offers; and it's too important to cancel. I just hope my head is clear.)
My main concern is that my husband NOT get this cold right before his test...That would be the last straw!
Pardon my doom and gloom. It's hard to be cheerful and upbeat when you feel like......well....you know...
4.20.2009
This week
There are so many things going on this week, that are matters of prayer for me. So for the 4 or 5 people that read my blog, perhaps you would keep these things in your prayers...
This week PJ is taking his long, hard, 8-hour test on Friday. That means he will be studying pretty much every day this week, so we won't see much of him at home (pray for me too!). He needs speed for doing all the calculations in the limited time; and mental and physical stamina to last all day (this is sometimes a problem for him); and good recall of what he has studied. (Just FYI we are still going to have some time together on our date night since he shouldn't really cram the night before)
Wednesday morning I am going to PJ5's IEP meeting. (Also, I have yet to find someone to watch the boys during that time.) I am a little apprehensive about this, because I don't know all the people who are on the IEP team, and I have been hearing several horror stories of meetings where the parents have to really fight to get what they want on the plan. This is probably just me imagining the worst-case scenario. I like his teacher and have talked to one other person whom I feel is on the same page for what we want for PJ5, but I know next to nothing about the 4 other people who will be there.
To top things off NB is fighting a bad cold.
I am also going to be praying a lot on Tuesday for Stellan who will be having a very risky surgery in Boston for his heart problems. He is only 5 months old which is what makes the surgery so risky.
It seems like there's something else, but my mind can't think of anything.
I also had a review meeting today for NB's current program, which will end when he turns 3 years old, in only 5 months! At that point he will transition out of the state's early intervention program and into school! We spent some time talking about that, including some of our options, and will have an official transition meeting in May. The meeting today went well, but I am still a little keyed (stressed) from that. I also really wanted to go to Texas this week and see my aunt who has been in the Philippines for the last year and will soon return, but I couldn't figure out how to fit that in with everything else that's going on!
This week PJ is taking his long, hard, 8-hour test on Friday. That means he will be studying pretty much every day this week, so we won't see much of him at home (pray for me too!). He needs speed for doing all the calculations in the limited time; and mental and physical stamina to last all day (this is sometimes a problem for him); and good recall of what he has studied. (Just FYI we are still going to have some time together on our date night since he shouldn't really cram the night before)
Wednesday morning I am going to PJ5's IEP meeting. (Also, I have yet to find someone to watch the boys during that time.) I am a little apprehensive about this, because I don't know all the people who are on the IEP team, and I have been hearing several horror stories of meetings where the parents have to really fight to get what they want on the plan. This is probably just me imagining the worst-case scenario. I like his teacher and have talked to one other person whom I feel is on the same page for what we want for PJ5, but I know next to nothing about the 4 other people who will be there.
To top things off NB is fighting a bad cold.
I am also going to be praying a lot on Tuesday for Stellan who will be having a very risky surgery in Boston for his heart problems. He is only 5 months old which is what makes the surgery so risky.
It seems like there's something else, but my mind can't think of anything.
I also had a review meeting today for NB's current program, which will end when he turns 3 years old, in only 5 months! At that point he will transition out of the state's early intervention program and into school! We spent some time talking about that, including some of our options, and will have an official transition meeting in May. The meeting today went well, but I am still a little keyed (stressed) from that. I also really wanted to go to Texas this week and see my aunt who has been in the Philippines for the last year and will soon return, but I couldn't figure out how to fit that in with everything else that's going on!
4.10.2009
Just for fun
I decided to try this, but I'm not sure. I didn't feel like some of the answers fit me just right so it was hard to pick. :)
The result was:
You are Elinor Dashwood of Sense & Sensibility! You are practical, circumspect, and discreet. Though you are tremendously sensible and allow your head to rule, you have a deep, emotional side that few people often see.
The result was:
You are Elinor Dashwood of Sense & Sensibility! You are practical, circumspect, and discreet. Though you are tremendously sensible and allow your head to rule, you have a deep, emotional side that few people often see.
4.09.2009
Explanation
Alright, my last post was a little abrupt and out of the blue, perhaps. I was in a hurry. I found that article and was (not for the first time) disgusted with the words of Rick Warren. I like his 5 basic "purposes", though I don't agree with everything he says in that book. But some of his teachings just are not Biblical. This disturbs me because so many, both in the church and outside of it, see him as a spokesperson for Christianity and the church.
We cannot be wishy-washy. God is truth and His Word is Truth. We must stand up for that truth and not back down. Even if it offends. Yes, we are to speak the truth in love, but often people focus on the "in love" part and never get to the truth. If we do not stand for the truth, then the world and its secular culture will walk over us. They are quite willing to oblige. The world is all for materialism, self-satisfaction, and perversion of truth; even though it may disguise itself as helping and loving. As Christ-followers we are for truth, sacrifice, and holiness; and our wisdom is foolishness to the world.
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the sill of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in a little while, 'He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.' But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved." Hebrews 10: 35-39
I'm glad I got that off my chest.
We cannot be wishy-washy. God is truth and His Word is Truth. We must stand up for that truth and not back down. Even if it offends. Yes, we are to speak the truth in love, but often people focus on the "in love" part and never get to the truth. If we do not stand for the truth, then the world and its secular culture will walk over us. They are quite willing to oblige. The world is all for materialism, self-satisfaction, and perversion of truth; even though it may disguise itself as helping and loving. As Christ-followers we are for truth, sacrifice, and holiness; and our wisdom is foolishness to the world.
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the sill of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in a little while, 'He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.' But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved." Hebrews 10: 35-39
I'm glad I got that off my chest.
4.08.2009
4.02.2009
April 2
is World Autism Awareness Day. I looked it up and found out there are only a few diseases that the U.N. has marked with a World Awareness Day.
http://www.autismspeaks.org/ is one of the best sites for basic information. But there are many sites out there if you search "autism". This is because autism has become so prevalent. Prevalence is also the reason the U.N. established the WAAD.
Today 1 in 150 children are diagnosed with autism. I have two of them. It is more common among boys than girls. I have been asked if it is known why the statistics are rising so much. Everyone has theories, but there's no pat answer and I belive it is probably a combination of different things. Some say the numbers are higher because the symptoms are recognized better today. Some say the number really is rising due to factors that are yet unknown (because the cause of autism is unknown). Some say it is over-diagnosed; that doctors apply the label to other problems. This might be true, but all the more reason to educate people (raise awareness) on what autism really is. I am not going to list here the criteria of diagnosing autism, but will tell you something of what autism is.
Autism is a developmental disorder; i.e. it affects the normal development of children, slowing their development. That is why early intervention is important: the first years of a child's life they are more malleable, and there are building blocks that need to be put in place for further development. It most often affects their communication skills and social skills.
It is a neurological disorder in that it affects the neurological pathways in the brain. There is evidence that some of the neurons in the brain are not making the right "connection" or at least not all the time.
It is also becoming apparent that there is a biological/medical factor, though this is not always accepted by "experts". Children with autism often have food intolerances and/or don't digest certain foods correctly. If those foods can be removed from their diet, it helps to alleviate even the behavioral symptoms of autism. Children with autism often benefit from vitamin/mineral supplements because 1) their bodies are not properly breaking down the foods and 2) they often do not eat some foods because they are so sensitive to taste and texture that it is like torture to eat those foods (which means they may be missing pieces of an essential diet).
Autism is one of the "invisible disabilities" in that it is not apparent to onlookers that there is a disorder, in contrast with disabilities that are more easily seen. To others it may seem that the child is just a problem-child that needs a good spanking, but the issues are deeper and more complex.
Children with autism are just as lovable as typical children, they just require a little more patience. They have a lot of potential if you are willing to look for it. They require a little more protection because they are unaware of dangerous situations that another child might more easily recognize. You will usually need to tell them something more than once, because they don't have their "listening ears on" (literally). And if you give them a command (this is the really young ones) you will need to physically show them what you want them to do in response to your request because they simply don't know what is expected. And you may have to show them several times before they understand.
As you can imagine, my world is very different. Different than others and different than what I thought it would be. But I still love my boys, and I know they love me. I still pray for their healing, but I also pray that God will use my circumstances to change me to be more like Him. I just keep trusting Him more, and leaning on myself less. Because I know he is in control, I can keep my sanity. Without Him I would not have hope and I don't know how others survive without Him.
http://www.autismspeaks.org/ is one of the best sites for basic information. But there are many sites out there if you search "autism". This is because autism has become so prevalent. Prevalence is also the reason the U.N. established the WAAD.
Today 1 in 150 children are diagnosed with autism. I have two of them. It is more common among boys than girls. I have been asked if it is known why the statistics are rising so much. Everyone has theories, but there's no pat answer and I belive it is probably a combination of different things. Some say the numbers are higher because the symptoms are recognized better today. Some say the number really is rising due to factors that are yet unknown (because the cause of autism is unknown). Some say it is over-diagnosed; that doctors apply the label to other problems. This might be true, but all the more reason to educate people (raise awareness) on what autism really is. I am not going to list here the criteria of diagnosing autism, but will tell you something of what autism is.
Autism is a developmental disorder; i.e. it affects the normal development of children, slowing their development. That is why early intervention is important: the first years of a child's life they are more malleable, and there are building blocks that need to be put in place for further development. It most often affects their communication skills and social skills.
It is a neurological disorder in that it affects the neurological pathways in the brain. There is evidence that some of the neurons in the brain are not making the right "connection" or at least not all the time.
It is also becoming apparent that there is a biological/medical factor, though this is not always accepted by "experts". Children with autism often have food intolerances and/or don't digest certain foods correctly. If those foods can be removed from their diet, it helps to alleviate even the behavioral symptoms of autism. Children with autism often benefit from vitamin/mineral supplements because 1) their bodies are not properly breaking down the foods and 2) they often do not eat some foods because they are so sensitive to taste and texture that it is like torture to eat those foods (which means they may be missing pieces of an essential diet).
Autism is one of the "invisible disabilities" in that it is not apparent to onlookers that there is a disorder, in contrast with disabilities that are more easily seen. To others it may seem that the child is just a problem-child that needs a good spanking, but the issues are deeper and more complex.
Children with autism are just as lovable as typical children, they just require a little more patience. They have a lot of potential if you are willing to look for it. They require a little more protection because they are unaware of dangerous situations that another child might more easily recognize. You will usually need to tell them something more than once, because they don't have their "listening ears on" (literally). And if you give them a command (this is the really young ones) you will need to physically show them what you want them to do in response to your request because they simply don't know what is expected. And you may have to show them several times before they understand.
As you can imagine, my world is very different. Different than others and different than what I thought it would be. But I still love my boys, and I know they love me. I still pray for their healing, but I also pray that God will use my circumstances to change me to be more like Him. I just keep trusting Him more, and leaning on myself less. Because I know he is in control, I can keep my sanity. Without Him I would not have hope and I don't know how others survive without Him.
3.30.2009
Not Me Monday
As I confessed to our Sooner Start therapist/provider today, I have been hard pressed just to do the "normal" mom stuff this week, much less try to do the "super-fighting-autism" mom stuff. I was sick for one day (minor, but it sapped my energy), we had a SNOW day, PJ5 turned five, and we spent 12 hours at church yesterday (minus the hour or so we took for eating lunch).
However, this "Not Me Monday" post is going to be different. I have only been following MckMama for a little over a month, but I have discovered her to be a devoted Christian, a loving mother to her "Many Small Children", a committed wife to her "Prince Charming", and full of fun and a zest for life. When I saw on Monday last week that her 4-month-old was in the hospital, my heart felt sick. So in honor of sweet Stellan....
This week, it's our chance to HONOR MckMama and Stellan with our Not Me! Mondays.
This week I did not....
However, this "Not Me Monday" post is going to be different. I have only been following MckMama for a little over a month, but I have discovered her to be a devoted Christian, a loving mother to her "Many Small Children", a committed wife to her "Prince Charming", and full of fun and a zest for life. When I saw on Monday last week that her 4-month-old was in the hospital, my heart felt sick. So in honor of sweet Stellan....
As we are all aware, Not Me! Monday was started by MckMama. "I created Not Me! Monday for the purpose of confessing our shortcomings and imperfections to each other since, after all, we are all only human!" (MckMama's words) Every Monday, you can find more "Not Me! Monday" at her site. However, this week, in honor of her and Baby Stellan, we're doing "Not Me! Monday - Stellan Style!"
This week, it's our chance to HONOR MckMama and Stellan with our Not Me! Mondays.
This week I did not....
---Check the internet almost every hour of every day (except Sunday) to see if there were any updates on Stellan's condition.
---Spend almost an hour looking at Stellan's name gallery and learning his story(PJ5 was at school and NB was asleep).
---Talk my husband to sleep (almost) telling him about Stellan and MckMama and why my heart was heavy.
---Re-start my "Twitter" account so that I could follow her Twitter updates (because they were more frequent than the blog updates).
---Feel blessed many times by her testimonies of holding onto God, trusting Him in the midst of distress, and having peace knowing He is in control.
---Make my husband get out of bed to look at some of the cute pictures of Stellan.
---Get tears in my eyes when I saw the sweet, tired expressions of him in the hospital.
---Hold my boys a little tighter and thank God that I can.
If you will, join the many in prayer for this little boy.
3.28.2009
Signs of spring in Oklahoma:
....redbuds blooming
....grass and weeds turning green
....new bright leaves on the trees
....tornado sirens
....local street flooding
....oh, yes...snow
I like snow, but once spring has started, I don't like going back to winter.
And don't forget the global warming crisis we are in!
Earth Hour is from 8:30 to 9:30, so turn on every light in your house!
....redbuds blooming
....grass and weeds turning green
....new bright leaves on the trees
....tornado sirens
....local street flooding
....oh, yes...snow
I like snow, but once spring has started, I don't like going back to winter.
And don't forget the global warming crisis we are in!
Earth Hour is from 8:30 to 9:30, so turn on every light in your house!
3.26.2009
Memories
Well, five years ago today PJ5 was born...
I remember that the weather in Tulsa was a lot warmer and more spring-like than it is right now in Oklahoma(it's supposed to snow tomorrow). PJ (the 4th) had taken off the morning to take me to the hospital so the doctors could try to turn the baby who was feet down in the womb at three weeks before the due date. After driving me home from the unsuccessful attempt, he went to work, only to have me calling him a few hours later to take me back to the hospital because I was in labor! Once they decided I was in true labor, everything happened quickly, and at 4:00 in the afternoon our first son was born.
Then after a loooong time in the recovery room (because of my low blood pressure), settled into a regular room, I finally could concentrate on my son. I remember how it felt like my heart had expanded with love for him. I remember thinking how much he looked like his daddy, with his dark hair, blue eyes, and the deep indentation in his upper lip. Now his hair is lighter (although it is getting darker again), his eyes are brown, and he looks more like me---except for the wild curl in his hair and the indentation in his upper lip.
3.09.2009
Write it down
I'm realizing that I need to take time (sometimes make time) to write down my thoughts. Otherwise they float away and I forget them. If I forget the thought then I don't learn anything from it, or I forget what I learned from it. I have too many unfinished emotional processes. (does that make sense to anyone?) Again, how can I learn how to handle certain emotions if I don't get to resolve them or forget how to resolve them because I had to run on to the next situation that demanded my attention?
Maybe I live in the moment too much. If someone asks me how things are, I say fine because at the moment I am fine, regardles of the fact that I was crying not too long ago. Or if someone asks me how my week has been I can't really remember because it's all a blur.
So, "write it down, girl" is my motto for this week. :)
Maybe I live in the moment too much. If someone asks me how things are, I say fine because at the moment I am fine, regardles of the fact that I was crying not too long ago. Or if someone asks me how my week has been I can't really remember because it's all a blur.
So, "write it down, girl" is my motto for this week. :)
3.04.2009
Today I am Sherlock
I am looking for PJ5's newest and currently most favorite Veggietales DVD. I have the case, but the DVD is missing. The problem is that he likes to open the case and look at the DVD, and sometimes bring it to me so he can watch it.
So, I have looked for it in all the usual places that DVDs might possibly be found after PJ5 has been playing with them: the DVD player, the CD player, the CD player in his bedroom, the CD slot in the computer, on top of the piano, inside the wrong DVD case. And I've looked in some unusual places, too: under the sofa, in between the sofa cushions, under his bed, on the kitchen table. But I still haven't found it. Thankfully he is not panicking or insisting that he watch the video NOW. (I have also tried asking him where he put it, which works on rare occasions, but not this time.)
I used to be able to find missing things very easily and almost always remembered where I had put things, but my mind has never been the same since I had kids. You may think I am joking, and it is funny in a way, but it is too true.
~~
By the way, I am not blogging this because I expect anyone to be able to help me, but just to tell you what my day is like :)
So, I have looked for it in all the usual places that DVDs might possibly be found after PJ5 has been playing with them: the DVD player, the CD player, the CD player in his bedroom, the CD slot in the computer, on top of the piano, inside the wrong DVD case. And I've looked in some unusual places, too: under the sofa, in between the sofa cushions, under his bed, on the kitchen table. But I still haven't found it. Thankfully he is not panicking or insisting that he watch the video NOW. (I have also tried asking him where he put it, which works on rare occasions, but not this time.)
I used to be able to find missing things very easily and almost always remembered where I had put things, but my mind has never been the same since I had kids. You may think I am joking, and it is funny in a way, but it is too true.
~~
By the way, I am not blogging this because I expect anyone to be able to help me, but just to tell you what my day is like :)
3.01.2009
Not Me
Alright, I think I'm gonnna have fun with this. I'm going to do a "Not Me Monday" post.
Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
This week I did not....
.....decide that speeding was the best way to end the misery, and that if a cop pulled me over I would simply tell him/her that if they were driving with two screaming toddlers less than two feet behind them they would drive over the speed limit too.
.....attend a meeting where I was the only one under the age of 55 (except for my two children who were technically not part of the meeting).
.....feel somewhat out of place when the pre-meeting conversation at my table was about the pros and cons of various supplemental health insurance plans for seniors on Medicare. (The consensus seemed to be that BCBS was better than Humana, and very little was known about SecureHorizons.)
.....lie a few times when someone might ask how I was doing, because it's easier to say "okay".
.....stay up late deliberating over songs to sing on Sunday morning and then oversleep the next morning and have to miss Bible study.
......desperately push buttons on the cell phone in my pocket, trying to silence "Boomer Sooner" while the person beside me was praying.
......feel relief when we were invited over for Sunday dinner, because I hadn't had time or energy to put anything in the CrockPot the night before.
......get surprised by a very yummy homemade chocolate birthday cake after dinner.
Well, I had fun. Hope you enjoyed it (and that I didn't shock or offend anyone). Thanks to Lazy Phil for the "Not Me" idea.
Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
This week I did not....
......casually mention my birthday to my husband in passing several times through the week.
.......have a wonderful time with two very good friends on Friday, staying up later than I probably should have done.
......decide to give up something for Lent, three days after the Lenten season started.
......tell my husband that I was considering giving up sex for Lent (did I really just say that?)
.....drive down the highway, with my fingers plugged in my ears and my elbows on the steering wheel, while my children yelled in the back seat......decide that speeding was the best way to end the misery, and that if a cop pulled me over I would simply tell him/her that if they were driving with two screaming toddlers less than two feet behind them they would drive over the speed limit too.
.....attend a meeting where I was the only one under the age of 55 (except for my two children who were technically not part of the meeting).
.....feel somewhat out of place when the pre-meeting conversation at my table was about the pros and cons of various supplemental health insurance plans for seniors on Medicare. (The consensus seemed to be that BCBS was better than Humana, and very little was known about SecureHorizons.)
.....lie a few times when someone might ask how I was doing, because it's easier to say "okay".
.....stay up late deliberating over songs to sing on Sunday morning and then oversleep the next morning and have to miss Bible study.
......desperately push buttons on the cell phone in my pocket, trying to silence "Boomer Sooner" while the person beside me was praying.
......feel relief when we were invited over for Sunday dinner, because I hadn't had time or energy to put anything in the CrockPot the night before.
......get surprised by a very yummy homemade chocolate birthday cake after dinner.
Well, I had fun. Hope you enjoyed it (and that I didn't shock or offend anyone). Thanks to Lazy Phil for the "Not Me" idea.
2.21.2009
Weekend
I sat down here to write that things were going well today, when I heard a crash. Just finished putting the blinds back up on the big front window, even though PJ5 thought they should be down, so he could look out the window.
Feeling a little better today. Just being able to vent helps a little. (I also got 8 hours of sleep last night.) I'm thankful for friends and family who care and pray and help.
My hubby will be gone the next several Saturdays, so things might be tough at times, but there are people who will help. We will have choir/drama practice almost every Saturday, but that will help break up the monotony. Today is the first Saturday he is absent and so far, so good. I do look forward to tomorrow, though.
You know, Sundays can be exhausting for me (busy), but they are good nevertheless. I get to be in God's House and enjoy His presence. I get to play the piano (yes!) and sing. I get a little break from the boys. I get to spend a little extra time with my husband. I get encouragement from the services. I get to be with my church family. In general, it is a good day and a high point in my week (despite the tiredness at the end of the day).
I'm thankful for:
--Sundays
--Mother's Day Out
--Date Nights (every week, thank you Lazy Phil)
--Girls Nights
--Phone conversations (except sales calls)
--E-mails
--Hugs
--Being with friends
--Quiet times (rare)
--Bedtime
...just to name a few....
Feeling a little better today. Just being able to vent helps a little. (I also got 8 hours of sleep last night.) I'm thankful for friends and family who care and pray and help.
My hubby will be gone the next several Saturdays, so things might be tough at times, but there are people who will help. We will have choir/drama practice almost every Saturday, but that will help break up the monotony. Today is the first Saturday he is absent and so far, so good. I do look forward to tomorrow, though.
You know, Sundays can be exhausting for me (busy), but they are good nevertheless. I get to be in God's House and enjoy His presence. I get to play the piano (yes!) and sing. I get a little break from the boys. I get to spend a little extra time with my husband. I get encouragement from the services. I get to be with my church family. In general, it is a good day and a high point in my week (despite the tiredness at the end of the day).
I'm thankful for:
--Sundays
--Mother's Day Out
--Date Nights (every week, thank you Lazy Phil)
--Girls Nights
--Phone conversations (except sales calls)
--E-mails
--Hugs
--Being with friends
--Quiet times (rare)
--Bedtime
...just to name a few....
2.20.2009
I didn't sign up for this!
Have you ever felt that way?
I am emotionally burned out. I am unmotivated. At times I feel hopeless.
I am physically tired, because a little person has been keeping me from getting as much sleep as I need. I am emotionally tired, because raising my children is a challenge for which I feel inadequate.
I've been going around kind of numb, because that is easier than feeling.
I would ask for help, but I don't really know what I need anymore. I don't even know which way is up.
I am emotionally burned out. I am unmotivated. At times I feel hopeless.
I am physically tired, because a little person has been keeping me from getting as much sleep as I need. I am emotionally tired, because raising my children is a challenge for which I feel inadequate.
I've been going around kind of numb, because that is easier than feeling.
I would ask for help, but I don't really know what I need anymore. I don't even know which way is up.
A few good things
PJ5 demostrated an awareness of danger from moving vehicles yesterday, for the first time. We were getting ready to cross a parking lot and there was a Suburban approaching the "crosswalk". PJ5 was holding my hand and without any prompting he stopped and watched the vehicle. The suburban stopped and waved at me to go ahead, so I tugged at his hand and said 'let's go'. And he ran across, all the time watching the suburban, as though to make sure it didn't start up. He really kept his eye on it.
Last night, NB let me rock him for a long time. It was very sweet. He is an affectionate child, but his demonstrations are usually more physical-intensive: climbing all over you, rubbing your face in his belly while he stands on your lap, pulling your hair, bouncing on your back, etc. But last night he was very tired and upset, and when we put him to bed he just cried and cried; and it seemed he couldn't calm down. So I picked him up and sat in the rocking chair with him (something he hasn't liked since he was tiny) and rocked and sang for awhile. He relaxed and just snuggled down. When he started wiggling (to keep himself awake) I put him back in his crib. He cried a little, but it was a weak protest and didn't last long.
Last night, NB let me rock him for a long time. It was very sweet. He is an affectionate child, but his demonstrations are usually more physical-intensive: climbing all over you, rubbing your face in his belly while he stands on your lap, pulling your hair, bouncing on your back, etc. But last night he was very tired and upset, and when we put him to bed he just cried and cried; and it seemed he couldn't calm down. So I picked him up and sat in the rocking chair with him (something he hasn't liked since he was tiny) and rocked and sang for awhile. He relaxed and just snuggled down. When he started wiggling (to keep himself awake) I put him back in his crib. He cried a little, but it was a weak protest and didn't last long.
1.28.2009
Inside for three days
No school for three days.
Freezing temps.
Icy roads.
Restless kids and mom losing her mind.
PJ5 has learned three new skills during the last three home-bound days:
---Opening "twist-off" lids
---Pouring his own drink
---Climbing whatever is available to get what he wants
We've had some interesting times, in case you can't tell.
Freezing temps.
Icy roads.
Restless kids and mom losing her mind.
PJ5 has learned three new skills during the last three home-bound days:
---Opening "twist-off" lids
---Pouring his own drink
---Climbing whatever is available to get what he wants
We've had some interesting times, in case you can't tell.
1.21.2009
A Great American
Well, I had a few tears in my eyes yesterday as I watched pieces of the inauguration proceedings. And it wasn't because I was witnessing an important moment in history, which I was. No, it was because I was saying good-bye to the Bushes. I had tears in my eyes as I watched the dignified couple welcome the new "First Couple" to the White House. And again as I watched them board a helicopter to leave the White House grounds.
He was such a man of integrity, and I hate how the media has made fun of him and criticized him. The media has ceased to be unbiased in the last year. He has been treated with such disrespect by our own American citizens, as well as the media. It makes me mad to hear it said that he has contributed to the loss of our moral standing with the world. When our nation was attacked he went after those who were responsible like any Texas boy would. He sent a message of "no tolerance" to terrorists and those who support them. No, if the moral image of our country has been tarnished it is by the media, and by the "stars" whose lives are seen by other countries as typical of Americans.
I'm not saying that I have agreed with every deicision he made. But at least he stuck by his decisions and was not swayed by public opinion. He did what he believed was best for our country in the long run and I admire and respect him for that.
I will miss him and I hope we can find another like him within the next four years.
Good-bye, George "W", and God bless you!
He was such a man of integrity, and I hate how the media has made fun of him and criticized him. The media has ceased to be unbiased in the last year. He has been treated with such disrespect by our own American citizens, as well as the media. It makes me mad to hear it said that he has contributed to the loss of our moral standing with the world. When our nation was attacked he went after those who were responsible like any Texas boy would. He sent a message of "no tolerance" to terrorists and those who support them. No, if the moral image of our country has been tarnished it is by the media, and by the "stars" whose lives are seen by other countries as typical of Americans.
I'm not saying that I have agreed with every deicision he made. But at least he stuck by his decisions and was not swayed by public opinion. He did what he believed was best for our country in the long run and I admire and respect him for that.
I will miss him and I hope we can find another like him within the next four years.
Good-bye, George "W", and God bless you!
1.13.2009
Great taste
We've been watching the "old" Star Wars movies, enjoying the cheap rental rates at a video store that came to our area recently. Usually we watch them after the kids go to bed (almost like a date), but yesterday morning I was watching the end of the last one which we had started the night before. The kids were just playing, not paying any attention to the movie (since it's not animated or little kids singing). But when the Star Wars Theme Song came on with the credits their heads came up, and NB watched through almost all the credits, just listening to the music.
For those who don't know, that theme song is a thrilling piece, written by John Williams, a musical genius of the 20th century (he also wrote the theme for Indiana Jones). I remembered that the boys did the same thing with a few other movies with good music---Chronicles of Narnia and the Lord of the Rings trilogy, to name a few. I thought 'They must have great taste in music!'. Then I remembered how NB liked hearing an electric guitar being played at the music store, and how he wil bop his head whenever he hears rock-like music played...Well, maybe they just like music, period.
For those who don't know, that theme song is a thrilling piece, written by John Williams, a musical genius of the 20th century (he also wrote the theme for Indiana Jones). I remembered that the boys did the same thing with a few other movies with good music---Chronicles of Narnia and the Lord of the Rings trilogy, to name a few. I thought 'They must have great taste in music!'. Then I remembered how NB liked hearing an electric guitar being played at the music store, and how he wil bop his head whenever he hears rock-like music played...Well, maybe they just like music, period.
Strange habits
I was thinking about this the other day:
I noticed something about PJ a few years into our marriage. When he talks to someone who has a foreign accent, he starts to speak with their accent also. I'm not kidding, it's true! I've seen him do it with people he worked with from India. I've heard him with our hispanic neighbor. It's totally unconscious, because when I mentioned it to him, he was surprised. He may be more aware of it now, since I said something. And, when he has been with any "country boys" (at work or elsewhere) he sounds as "Okie" as the rest of them (this accent comes quite naturally, I'm afraid).
I don't know why he does it, and I'm sure he's had some strange looks from people when he starts talking like them. He is not purposely mocking. I think it has something to with the fact that he is such a good listener and conversationalist---he just joins in with the person he is talking to. I wonder if he would be good at picking up other languages in another country.
I was thinking about this and the humorous side of it, and realized I do something similar and just as funny. If I have just put down a book to talk to PJ, he can tell sometimes what genre of book I've been reading. If I have been reading a Western (I inherited this taste from my dad), I talk like a cowboy, dropping my g's and everything. (e.g., "I been thinkin' 'bout somethin'") And if I've been reading an English regency era book (one of my fav genres), I use expressions and words from my book. So, I talk like the characters in the book I'm reading. (Some books lend themselves more easily to this than others.)
So, I guess we all have funny quirks. And you just learned some new ones about us!
I noticed something about PJ a few years into our marriage. When he talks to someone who has a foreign accent, he starts to speak with their accent also. I'm not kidding, it's true! I've seen him do it with people he worked with from India. I've heard him with our hispanic neighbor. It's totally unconscious, because when I mentioned it to him, he was surprised. He may be more aware of it now, since I said something. And, when he has been with any "country boys" (at work or elsewhere) he sounds as "Okie" as the rest of them (this accent comes quite naturally, I'm afraid).
I don't know why he does it, and I'm sure he's had some strange looks from people when he starts talking like them. He is not purposely mocking. I think it has something to with the fact that he is such a good listener and conversationalist---he just joins in with the person he is talking to. I wonder if he would be good at picking up other languages in another country.
I was thinking about this and the humorous side of it, and realized I do something similar and just as funny. If I have just put down a book to talk to PJ, he can tell sometimes what genre of book I've been reading. If I have been reading a Western (I inherited this taste from my dad), I talk like a cowboy, dropping my g's and everything. (e.g., "I been thinkin' 'bout somethin'") And if I've been reading an English regency era book (one of my fav genres), I use expressions and words from my book. So, I talk like the characters in the book I'm reading. (Some books lend themselves more easily to this than others.)
So, I guess we all have funny quirks. And you just learned some new ones about us!
1.05.2009
Update
Alright, we're back from our 2nd Christmas of the season, which technically was celebrated in the new year. (I think it's time to go through the toy box again.) The last two weeks have been busy with holidays, trips and sicknesses (yes, that's multiple). We were out of town on Sunday and realized that neither of us had told anyone we were going to be gone. Of course we didn't realize this until Sunday morning! This weighed on my conscience the rest of the day, but I'm not sure it bothered PJ as long.
My poor son's internal clock is all messed up. PJ5 was sick last week and took daytime naps during that time (he usually doesn't nap). Now his sleep pattern is messed up. He either can't go to sleep at his bedtime, or else he wakes up really early and then gets tired in the afternoon. Today he woke up at 4:30 a.m.; then this afternoon he came off the bus, crying and they said he had fallen asleep at school and didn't want to wake up. Somehow, I felt like he was more upset about falling asleep at school than about having to wake up and get on the bus to go home. School is where you play and learn, home is where you sleep. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.
Well, gotta end. It's time to put the boys to bed---and hopefully soon to sleep!
My poor son's internal clock is all messed up. PJ5 was sick last week and took daytime naps during that time (he usually doesn't nap). Now his sleep pattern is messed up. He either can't go to sleep at his bedtime, or else he wakes up really early and then gets tired in the afternoon. Today he woke up at 4:30 a.m.; then this afternoon he came off the bus, crying and they said he had fallen asleep at school and didn't want to wake up. Somehow, I felt like he was more upset about falling asleep at school than about having to wake up and get on the bus to go home. School is where you play and learn, home is where you sleep. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.
Well, gotta end. It's time to put the boys to bed---and hopefully soon to sleep!
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