Weekend

I sat down here to write that things were going well today, when I heard a crash. Just finished putting the blinds back up on the big front window, even though PJ5 thought they should be down, so he could look out the window.

Feeling a little better today. Just being able to vent helps a little. (I also got 8 hours of sleep last night.) I'm thankful for friends and family who care and pray and help.

My hubby will be gone the next several Saturdays, so things might be tough at times, but there are people who will help. We will have choir/drama practice almost every Saturday, but that will help break up the monotony. Today is the first Saturday he is absent and so far, so good. I do look forward to tomorrow, though.

You know, Sundays can be exhausting for me (busy), but they are good nevertheless. I get to be in God's House and enjoy His presence. I get to play the piano (yes!) and sing. I get a little break from the boys. I get to spend a little extra time with my husband. I get encouragement from the services. I get to be with my church family. In general, it is a good day and a high point in my week (despite the tiredness at the end of the day).

I'm thankful for:
--Sundays
--Mother's Day Out
--Date Nights (every week, thank you Lazy Phil)
--Girls Nights
--Phone conversations (except sales calls)
--E-mails
--Hugs
--Being with friends
--Quiet times (rare)
--Bedtime
...just to name a few....

I didn't sign up for this!

Have you ever felt that way?

I am emotionally burned out. I am unmotivated. At times I feel hopeless.

I am physically tired, because a little person has been keeping me from getting as much sleep as I need. I am emotionally tired, because raising my children is a challenge for which I feel inadequate.
I've been going around kind of numb, because that is easier than feeling.

I would ask for help, but I don't really know what I need anymore. I don't even know which way is up.

A few good things

PJ5 demostrated an awareness of danger from moving vehicles yesterday, for the first time. We were getting ready to cross a parking lot and there was a Suburban approaching the "crosswalk". PJ5 was holding my hand and without any prompting he stopped and watched the vehicle. The suburban stopped and waved at me to go ahead, so I tugged at his hand and said 'let's go'. And he ran across, all the time watching the suburban, as though to make sure it didn't start up. He really kept his eye on it.

Last night, NB let me rock him for a long time. It was very sweet. He is an affectionate child, but his demonstrations are usually more physical-intensive: climbing all over you, rubbing your face in his belly while he stands on your lap, pulling your hair, bouncing on your back, etc. But last night he was very tired and upset, and when we put him to bed he just cried and cried; and it seemed he couldn't calm down. So I picked him up and sat in the rocking chair with him (something he hasn't liked since he was tiny) and rocked and sang for awhile. He relaxed and just snuggled down. When he started wiggling (to keep himself awake) I put him back in his crib. He cried a little, but it was a weak protest and didn't last long.