Not Me Monday

As I confessed to our Sooner Start therapist/provider today, I have been hard pressed just to do the "normal" mom stuff this week, much less try to do the "super-fighting-autism" mom stuff. I was sick for one day (minor, but it sapped my energy), we had a SNOW day, PJ5 turned five, and we spent 12 hours at church yesterday (minus the hour or so we took for eating lunch).

However, this "Not Me Monday" post is going to be different. I have only been following MckMama for a little over a month, but I have discovered her to be a devoted Christian, a loving mother to her "Many Small Children", a committed wife to her "Prince Charming", and full of fun and a zest for life. When I saw on Monday last week that her 4-month-old was in the hospital, my heart felt sick. So in honor of sweet Stellan....

As we are all aware, Not Me! Monday was started by MckMama. "I created Not Me! Monday for the purpose of confessing our shortcomings and imperfections to each other since, after all, we are all only human!" (MckMama's words) Every Monday, you can find more "Not Me! Monday" at her site. However, this week, in honor of her and Baby Stellan, we're doing "Not Me! Monday - Stellan Style!"

This week, it's our chance to HONOR MckMama and Stellan with our Not Me! Mondays.

This week I did not....

---Check the internet almost every hour of every day (except Sunday) to see if there were any updates on Stellan's condition.

---Spend almost an hour looking at Stellan's name gallery and learning his story(PJ5 was at school and NB was asleep).

---Talk my husband to sleep (almost) telling him about Stellan and MckMama and why my heart was heavy.

---Re-start my "Twitter" account so that I could follow her Twitter updates (because they were more frequent than the blog updates).

---Feel blessed many times by her testimonies of holding onto God, trusting Him in the midst of distress, and having peace knowing He is in control.

---Make my husband get out of bed to look at some of the cute pictures of Stellan.

---Get tears in my eyes when I saw the sweet, tired expressions of him in the hospital.

---Hold my boys a little tighter and thank God that I can.

If you will, join the many in prayer for this little boy.

Signs of spring in Oklahoma:

....redbuds blooming

....grass and weeds turning green

....new bright leaves on the trees

....tornado sirens

....local street flooding

....oh, yes...snow

I like snow, but once spring has started, I don't like going back to winter.

And don't forget the global warming crisis we are in!

Earth Hour is from 8:30 to 9:30, so turn on every light in your house!

Memories

Well, five years ago today PJ5 was born...

I remember that the weather in Tulsa was a lot warmer and more spring-like than it is right now in Oklahoma(it's supposed to snow tomorrow). PJ (the 4th) had taken off the morning to take me to the hospital so the doctors could try to turn the baby who was feet down in the womb at three weeks before the due date. After driving me home from the unsuccessful attempt, he went to work, only to have me calling him a few hours later to take me back to the hospital because I was in labor! Once they decided I was in true labor, everything happened quickly, and at 4:00 in the afternoon our first son was born.

Then after a loooong time in the recovery room (because of my low blood pressure), settled into a regular room, I finally could concentrate on my son. I remember how it felt like my heart had expanded with love for him. I remember thinking how much he looked like his daddy, with his dark hair, blue eyes, and the deep indentation in his upper lip. Now his hair is lighter (although it is getting darker again), his eyes are brown, and he looks more like me---except for the wild curl in his hair and the indentation in his upper lip.

Write it down

I'm realizing that I need to take time (sometimes make time) to write down my thoughts. Otherwise they float away and I forget them. If I forget the thought then I don't learn anything from it, or I forget what I learned from it. I have too many unfinished emotional processes. (does that make sense to anyone?) Again, how can I learn how to handle certain emotions if I don't get to resolve them or forget how to resolve them because I had to run on to the next situation that demanded my attention?

Maybe I live in the moment too much. If someone asks me how things are, I say fine because at the moment I am fine, regardles of the fact that I was crying not too long ago. Or if someone asks me how my week has been I can't really remember because it's all a blur.

So, "write it down, girl" is my motto for this week. :)

Today I am Sherlock

I am looking for PJ5's newest and currently most favorite Veggietales DVD. I have the case, but the DVD is missing. The problem is that he likes to open the case and look at the DVD, and sometimes bring it to me so he can watch it.

So, I have looked for it in all the usual places that DVDs might possibly be found after PJ5 has been playing with them: the DVD player, the CD player, the CD player in his bedroom, the CD slot in the computer, on top of the piano, inside the wrong DVD case. And I've looked in some unusual places, too: under the sofa, in between the sofa cushions, under his bed, on the kitchen table. But I still haven't found it. Thankfully he is not panicking or insisting that he watch the video NOW. (I have also tried asking him where he put it, which works on rare occasions, but not this time.)

I used to be able to find missing things very easily and almost always remembered where I had put things, but my mind has never been the same since I had kids. You may think I am joking, and it is funny in a way, but it is too true.
~~
By the way, I am not blogging this because I expect anyone to be able to help me, but just to tell you what my day is like :)

Not Me

Alright, I think I'm gonnna have fun with this. I'm going to do a "Not Me Monday" post.

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


This week I did not....

......casually mention my birthday to my husband in passing several times through the week.

.......have a wonderful time with two very good friends on Friday, staying up later than I probably should have done.

......decide to give up something for Lent, three days after the Lenten season started.

......tell my husband that I was considering giving up sex for Lent (did I really just say that?)

.....drive down the highway, with my fingers plugged in my ears and my elbows on the steering wheel, while my children yelled in the back seat.
.....decide that speeding was the best way to end the misery, and that if a cop pulled me over I would simply tell him/her that if they were driving with two screaming toddlers less than two feet behind them they would drive over the speed limit too.
.....attend a meeting where I was the only one under the age of 55 (except for my two children who were technically not part of the meeting).
.....feel somewhat out of place when the pre-meeting conversation at my table was about the pros and cons of various supplemental health insurance plans for seniors on Medicare. (The consensus seemed to be that BCBS was better than Humana, and very little was known about SecureHorizons.)
.....lie a few times when someone might ask how I was doing, because it's easier to say "okay".
.....stay up late deliberating over songs to sing on Sunday morning and then oversleep the next morning and have to miss Bible study.
......desperately push buttons on the cell phone in my pocket, trying to silence "Boomer Sooner" while the person beside me was praying.
......feel relief when we were invited over for Sunday dinner, because I hadn't had time or energy to put anything in the CrockPot the night before.
......get surprised by a very yummy homemade chocolate birthday cake after dinner.




Well, I had fun. Hope you enjoyed it (and that I didn't shock or offend anyone). Thanks to Lazy Phil for the "Not Me" idea.