Joy and pain.

Autism can really take the pleasure out of life.

I used to enjoy traveling and long road trips, but with two autistic boys it's more like a chore.  I loved spending time outdoors and still do, but if the boys are with us I'm constantly on guard to make sure one of them isn't running off.  I used to like birthday parties for kids, but those are usually a nightmare, or else have a bad aftermath due to unusual foods the boys have eaten.  

Church dinners, eating out, hiking, camping, and more. 

However, life isn't about pleasure. 

Love is sacrifice. 

I am willing to do this. 

But I am struggling to have the right attitude as I do the right thing. 

Pet Peeve #13

I try not to have a lot of "pet peeves", or I could go around being annoyed all the time.  But this is one that I frequently run into.

I hate it when I feel like I haven't accomplished much, and the boys come along and undo what I've done.  Like spilling juice all over the kitchen floor.  Or pulling wet, once-clean, laundry out of the washer onto the floor.

"Take Advantage of This Deal!"...........or not

When I get advertisements for "Get-aways" I make a skeptical sound and go on to the next thing. 

Family vacations?  It's more like pack-up-all-your-problems-and-take-them-somewhere-besides-home.  

Yes, we take vacations.  And we enjoy seeing other places and people.  But it's not always relaxing.  The name doesn't really fit.  We've had to change our ideas about what vacation means.

And "get-away"?  Not really.  It's difficult for Hubby and I to really get away.  It takes lots of planning beforehand and other people's help. We do make an effort to try and have a day or two away from the kids at least once a year, and sometimes twice in a year.  

That's just reality.  

I really try not to be too cynical, and I'm not bitter.  It's just the irony that gets me.  I feel like life mocks me sometimes.  I either have to cry, or laugh.  

I'm sure you know what I mean.

Perspective

I was on the verge of complaining on Facebook about poop. How tired I am of dealing with poop, changing diapers for the last nine years now. But I hesitated, thinking perhaps that it is more information than people really want to know. And who wants to hear complaining? So I scrolled down through my news feed while I decided whether or not to vent. 

That was when I found perspective. 

My second cousin and his wife are expecting and recently found out that their unborn son has Trisomy18. They will likely get to spend just a few hours, if that much, with their baby when he is born. 

I didn't post my complaint. 

What I really want to say

April was such a busy month.

So, of course, I've been feeling the urge to blog again. 

Facebook has been a great way to connect with people.  To communicate and actually get feedback.  I don't really get to have conversations until my husband gets home from work, unless someone calls me on the phone or I go somewhere.

But I don't always say what I really want to say on FB.  When you have 200+ friends, you don't necessarily want to share everything with everyone.  Nor do you want to say things that would offend someone and create bad feelings (I don't want to, anyway).

So, I think I'll be coming back here more often now.  There are lots of things I want to say.