I had a revelation (or at least an interesting thought) yesterday morning at church. It was during the prayer time so it wasn't really related to anything said. I shared a little of it last night in the evening service.
First, the background: I have struggled (as every parent of a disabled kid does) to balance acceptance of my child's diagnosis, and pushing/working to help them move forward. They can work against each other. When you come to the point of accepting the diagnosis, it can cause a slump in your drive to change things. And conversely, when you are wholeheartedly pushing and working to move them forward in their development, it can cause feelings of discontent. You have to find the right balance, so that you stay motivated. Now, for my "Aha!" moment.
I need to love my child in the same way God loves me. (This may sound very basic, but keep reading!)
+God knows I'm not perfect.
+He loves me as I am---imperfect.
+He knows my potential, and that I haven't reached it all yet.
+He knows that someday I will be completely perfect (in heaven).
+He is making/shaping me towards that perfection (of mind, spirit, character, person).
+He doesn't change me instantly, but "processes" me.
+He disciplines me (because He loves me).
+He helps me do what is right.
+He forgives me.
+He is unendingly patient with me.
+He keeps teaching me.
+He protects me.
+Sometimes He carries me, other times He walks beside me.
+He allows me to experience the natural consequences of my decisions and actions (with a few merciful exceptions!).
+He keeps working on me, to make me what I should be.
Of course, I don't have the option of instantly changing my child. But I know that God could heal him instantly, but instead He is choosing to heal him one step at a time. Either way He gets the glory. I purposefully give praise and credit to God for every step of progress my boys make. And I know that he is changing me as well, through the process.
11.16.2009
11.12.2009
Rambling
I decided to blog today because I actually have time. But I'm not sure what to say.
Things are going pretty smooth right now. We still have occasional bad days, like yesterday when PJ5 decided that screaming was his preferred mode of communication/expression. Our schedule is still pretty busy, especially the weekends. My hubby has been wanting to go hiking ever since he finished his test, but there's always been something going on each Saturday since then. I told him he better take a weekday off and go. (Sometime soon before it gets really cold)
I've been neglecting this blog, not really having much to say and choosing instead to get on FB. I think it's the interaction that draws me there. I can see what other people are saying, and they respond to me in their own time. Alright, alright, I also like "farmville". It's the only game I play on Facebook. What can I say? I always liked farms and ranches, but never had the opportunity to live on one. I'm not sure what this says about me, but I listed on paper all the crops I could plant and figured out which ones were the most profitable, even figuring in the time it takes for each to grow. Really, I did. I also like the fact that I only have to spend a few minutes each day on it to keep it going.
I recently attended the FIRST Statewide Autism Conference in Oklahoma. I came away feeling encouraged, empowered, and equipped. I had a few "Aha!" moments, gaining some insight and ideas on things like nutrition, sleeping, teaching communication, etc. They had concurrent sessions going on, and I wished I could clone myself. I was happy with all my session choices except one--something about parents coping with stress. I sat there and wished I could twitter on my phone:"you've got to be kidding". It was like a college lecture that explained what a healthy family should look like, but not really telling you how to get there. I guess I'll have to learn "stress-coping" somewhere else. I was pleasantly surprised to realize how many people were at the conference that I knew by face, if not by name. Excited, too, because I'm not outgoing by nature, and don't make a lot of friends easily. It made me aware that I am doing well at networking and accessing the "helps" available in our community.
On the homefront, we have a new member of our household. Well....on probation, I guess. We have a 6-month black female cat on a 2-week foster basis to see if she works out okay. She's inside only, and I have to watch because PJ5 likes to open the front door and look outside. He knows he's not supposed to go out without someone, but I don't want the cat to escape. (Of course, NB also likes to escape and then PJ5 will go out too, thinking he's someone.) The kitty seems to be adjusting okay. PJ5 likes to look at her and pet her, and says "meow" when he sees her. She always wants to be in whatever room I'm in, and follows PJ around in the mornings. My only concern is that she is still enough of a kitten that she loves to play, and at bedtime attacks our feet if they are moving under the covers (i don't let her in the boys rooms at night). I'm trying to train her not to play with human hands that are petting her, and so far she hasn't tried to scratch/attack the boys. One more week and we will have to decide if we are keeping her.
That's all folks. I'm running out of time. To the few friends and family members who actually read my blog that's my update. :)
Things are going pretty smooth right now. We still have occasional bad days, like yesterday when PJ5 decided that screaming was his preferred mode of communication/expression. Our schedule is still pretty busy, especially the weekends. My hubby has been wanting to go hiking ever since he finished his test, but there's always been something going on each Saturday since then. I told him he better take a weekday off and go. (Sometime soon before it gets really cold)
I've been neglecting this blog, not really having much to say and choosing instead to get on FB. I think it's the interaction that draws me there. I can see what other people are saying, and they respond to me in their own time. Alright, alright, I also like "farmville". It's the only game I play on Facebook. What can I say? I always liked farms and ranches, but never had the opportunity to live on one. I'm not sure what this says about me, but I listed on paper all the crops I could plant and figured out which ones were the most profitable, even figuring in the time it takes for each to grow. Really, I did. I also like the fact that I only have to spend a few minutes each day on it to keep it going.
I recently attended the FIRST Statewide Autism Conference in Oklahoma. I came away feeling encouraged, empowered, and equipped. I had a few "Aha!" moments, gaining some insight and ideas on things like nutrition, sleeping, teaching communication, etc. They had concurrent sessions going on, and I wished I could clone myself. I was happy with all my session choices except one--something about parents coping with stress. I sat there and wished I could twitter on my phone:"you've got to be kidding". It was like a college lecture that explained what a healthy family should look like, but not really telling you how to get there. I guess I'll have to learn "stress-coping" somewhere else. I was pleasantly surprised to realize how many people were at the conference that I knew by face, if not by name. Excited, too, because I'm not outgoing by nature, and don't make a lot of friends easily. It made me aware that I am doing well at networking and accessing the "helps" available in our community.
On the homefront, we have a new member of our household. Well....on probation, I guess. We have a 6-month black female cat on a 2-week foster basis to see if she works out okay. She's inside only, and I have to watch because PJ5 likes to open the front door and look outside. He knows he's not supposed to go out without someone, but I don't want the cat to escape. (Of course, NB also likes to escape and then PJ5 will go out too, thinking he's someone.) The kitty seems to be adjusting okay. PJ5 likes to look at her and pet her, and says "meow" when he sees her. She always wants to be in whatever room I'm in, and follows PJ around in the mornings. My only concern is that she is still enough of a kitten that she loves to play, and at bedtime attacks our feet if they are moving under the covers (i don't let her in the boys rooms at night). I'm trying to train her not to play with human hands that are petting her, and so far she hasn't tried to scratch/attack the boys. One more week and we will have to decide if we are keeping her.
That's all folks. I'm running out of time. To the few friends and family members who actually read my blog that's my update. :)
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